The Underworld files
by Voldy's Worst Nightmare
Summary: a series of oneshots in the pint of view of OC Cora McPherson, a mortal girl who works for Hades and has been sent to Camp Half-blood for training. Only Hermes because of wars against his kids. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Capture the Flag

**Disclaimer: I only own my character, Percy, the Stoll brothers and Luke – ask the RRA, I claimed them a while ago.**

**Summary: One-shot; a girl who was the assistant of Hades is sent to "mingle" with the campers. The first event is Capture the Flag. This is the story of how Cora McPherson and the Stoll brothers thought up an ingenious plan to thwart the Athena-Ares alliance. What happens? Pure chaos, my friends.**

…

This is ridiculous.

Here I am, virtually immortal assistant of one of the big three, being sent to "mingle" with the Campers at Camp Half-blood.

Don't get me wrong, the Stoll brothers, for all the times they've tried to steal my stuff, are pretty awesome, and Percy Jackson's always up for a laugh (especially when I dared him to invent the world's most powerful water-pistol, which was basically just a load of water in a pistol shape) but the Ares cabin? Forget it. I'm not mingling with them, no matter how much I'm getting paid.

Still; capture the flag sounds fun.

Incidentally, we're playing that tomorrow, and The Hermes Cabin, where I am, has allied itself with Poseidon, along with Hephaestus, Aphrodite, Apollo (who, by the way, I've met and succeeded to beat on guitar hero – he's awesome), Morpheus, Hecate, Phobos, Nemesis and about 60% of the other minor gods – and Dionysus and Hades, my boss.

This is why Connor, Travis and I, after having discussed it with the leaders of all our allied cabins, are sat in the corner of our cabin, discussing how to set up the most insane, crazy, brilliant prank ever to stop the red team, which has both Ares and Athena cabins.

What's the plan, I hear you ask? Its simple; paintball, with a few embellishments.

I hadn't actually expected them to take my paintball suggestion seriously, but we've got the Hephaestus boys making automatons that fire paintballs out of their chests and stuff, and Connor, Travis and I are working with Nico to get the flag – we're acting as Nico's body-guards because we're the creative geniuses who came up with the paintball ambush. Percy's getting Mrs O'Leary – the most awesome hellhound ever to reach the size of a tank – to take Connor and Travis, Nico and I, because we can travel through shadows by ourselves, are using our powers to get to the hill.

"I still don't like this shadow-travel thing" Connor grumbled.

"It's a blast," I replied, "Do you know how fun it is to infuriate your opponent by appearing behind them all the time? It's awesome!"

"Yeah," Travis nodded, "But Connor and I have to rely on a hellhound,"

"Hey," I replied, "Don't hate Mrs O'Leary. She's awesome."

"We know," both boys responded.

"It's just the principle of the thing,"

"Like the Easter bunnies on Demeter Cabin's roof and the golden mango?"

"That was awesome," Connor grinned.

"What's so different about paint-balling the Ares Cabin?"

"How do you know –?"

I grinned, "Every cabin has a shadowy corner or two,"

Travis and Conner high-fived and laughed quietly.

"So," I continued, "I propose a little extra fun,"

"We're listening," Travis could barely keep the grin off his face.

"Well," I replied, also smiling, "it involves a little thing called…"

…

"All set?"

"You're insane, Cora," Percy replied, eyeing me nervously, "You're sure it'll work?"

"Positive," I replied breezily, "just be a little careful around there – does everyone on our side know?"

As if to answer my question one of the Aphrodite girls came over, "No way. I am _not_ going through any –"

"Shhhh!" Percy and I practically tackled her to stop her blabbing, "you guys haven't been yelling it around camp have you? Or talking about it outside your cabin?"

"Hell no!" she laughed, "I'm just saying I don't want to be anywhere near it."

"Remember, don't aim for the face, because that's _cheating_," I yelled to everyone on our team.

"Isn't our plan cheating anyway?" one of the Morpheus boys asked.

"I've triple-checked the rulebook, there's nothing that mentions our plan in there," I replied, grinning, "There is, however, something about exploding cabbages from 1927, so we might make the rulebook with this,"

Everyone laughed. I stepped aside and let Percy take over so I could nose around the opposing team.

As it so happened I didn't need to nose around – Annabeth came to me.

"You ready to lose?" she asked as Clarisse came behind her.

"I don't think we will, somehow," I replied, "But I'll settle for a draw."

"Your whole team is going down, McPherson," Clarisse sneered.

I turned to her; "Do you really think so?"

This, as everyone on camp knew, was my dangerous question. "Do you really think you've won?" Bam – Connor and Travis are singing soprano and look like fat opera singers for a week. Yes, that has happened.

"We know so," Annabeth replied, "We have spies who've told us all about your little painting scheme –"

"Well, it's a good thing we changed isn't it?" I responded, my mouth twitching upwards, "And I've checked the rules – there's nothing wrong with our plan, but exploding vegetation isn't something they encourage."

"What?" Annabeth asked, bemused.

"There was something about exploding cabbages in the rulebook," I replied, "Probably a joint Hephaestus, Hermes and Demeter scheme, I wouldn't be surprised."

Clarisse snorted and returned to the tent. Annabeth and I exchanged threats and jibes for a few more minutes before she did the same.

I returned to the group and concentrated, trying to hear any updates on their plans; a little talk about littering from the nymphs at first, but I managed to eavesdrop on the enemy tent.

"– problems,"

"We'll be fine," I heard Annabeth's voice, "Not even Percy would come up with something involving hellhounds – he wouldn't think of it"

I snorted; how very wrong she was.

"And what about their flag?" One of the Zeus kids, I recognised him as Mitchell Heeley, pointed out, "If they're guarding the Flag using automatons we'll have no chance,"

"They short-circuit," Annabeth replied, "We'll take them out easily,"

Not our ones, Annabeth; they're programmed to self-destruct in a flurry of blue paint, and they aren't guarding our flag – their spy wasn't keeping them very well informed.

"And the trees?"

"They can paint on the trees all they like," Clarisse replied, "We aren't stupid, we're not going to fall for their little tricks."

Okay, so maybe the painting trees thing was my fault - I "accidentally" let slip to Annabeth that we were planning to paint all the trees in their territory with a blue cross when we passed them. What we were actually doing, was shooting them with blue paintballs, which is much more fun.

I listened for a bit longer and then shifted position to see if they knew I was there and, once deciding they hadn't a clue, sat up ant turned to Percy.

"They still think we're going with the old plan," I informed him, "But I'd like to keep some of the Hades kids to guard the flag, if that's okay,"

"Why?"

"They all know that I'll get them back if they're turncoats," I replied, "so if we keep about 6 in reserve then we won't have to worry about any betrayals."

We assigned 6 children of Hades to guard the flag before the conch horn sounded and we all took our positions.

"Campers!" Chiron announced, "You know the rules; no maiming, and whichever team takes the opposing flag is the winner!" he blew the conch horn again and we all charged, firing blue paint at everyone – I am glad to say that we shocked Annabeth and her team so much that they couldn't react – the automatons did their jobs beautifully, letting loose hand grenades that exploded in a shower of blue.

I love this game.

Nico and Mrs O'Leary took their orders from me, and Connor and Travis were having far too much fun shooting at the passing red team. I counted; one… two… three…

"Now!" I ordered; we all vanished into shadow and within seconds we were on their hill, shooting paintballs at them and kidnapping their flag.

"Muahahahaha!" we chorused, as was our traditional battle cry before we ran down the hill. Without thinking, I grabbed Nico, who was only 15, bless him, and hoisted him into a piggyback while he was grabbing onto the flag.

We passed enough of their team to let them know we had it before I jumped into the canopy and shadow-travelled to the stream. I dropped Nico halfway there and covered his flank as the Ares cabin ("COME BACK HERE PUNK!"), angry at us for stealing their flag (never would have guessed) attempted to trip him. He struggled on and planted the flag in the ground, where it changed from red with a boar's head to (a very predictable) black emblazoned with a silver skull.

Annabeth, coated from head to foot in electric blue paint, came charging down the other side just as the flag changed with our flag in her hand – only to be knocked over by the enthusiastic blues, who picked Nico up and cheered him out of the forest.

Annabeth looked at me, her eyebrows raised.

"Paintball?" she asked.

"Paintball," I agreed, "and Hell hounds, and automatons – oh, and a little bit of blue paint-swamp."

"Paint-swamp?"

"Didn't you notice when your team stepped in it?"

We laughed and returned to the pavilion.

…

"I didn't expect paintball, blue team," Chiron commented, "I'm not sure if that's allowed,"

"I looked in the rulebook, sir," I stood up and interrupted from the grinning Hermes table, "No mention of paintball or hellhounds or automatons – but exploding food was mentioned,"

The entire camp roared with laughter.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Dionysus interrupted, "So the blue team has won and now they'll have bigger heads. Congratulations. Personally I couldn't care less…"

I switched off and stared over at Mitchell Heeley, who was staring back.

"Two nil," I mouthed.

"Shut up," he responded.

I smiled and took a sip of blue cherry coke.

Maybe summer camp wasn't so bad after all.

…

**That's it! Hope you liked it (sorry, I couldn't resist the temptation of writing a Percy Jackson fic) Review and tell me what you thought of it! What? I wanted to include paintball!**

**Click the green button… click the green button…**


	2. Chapter 2

Prank War

**Disclaimer: PERCY JACKSON IS MINE!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! And so are Luke, and the Stoll brothers. NYAHA!**

**And the great thing is, you can't sue me because you don't know who I am! *cackles insanely***

**Summary: Next instalment of the Servant of Hades one-shots. Cara, after being moved to the Hades cabin, gets sick of the Hermes Cabin's little pranks and enlists the help of the Zeus, Apollo and Poseidon cabins to get them back in style.**

…

The shrieking of the whole Aphrodite cabin woke me up.

Seriously, the least they could do was put a sound-proofing spell on that thing – it's ridiculous how loud they scream.

So, being careful not to wake up my boss's kids (I got moved to the Hades cabin after he decided to claim me, regardless of the fact that I'm not his daughter) I crept out of my bunk and snuck outside.

"What's all that noise?"

I jumped nearly ten feet in the air (yes, that is literal) and turned to face my cabin and the Poseidon cabin.

"Jesus!" I gasped, glaring at Percy, "Do you have to do that?"

I wasn't the only one who noticed the Hermes Cabin laughing their heads off.

The entire Aphrodite cabin was spewing sludge-green bubbles and was covered in toilet paper.

"Right." I walked over to the nearest cabin, coincidentally the Zeus one, and hit my head on the door.

"What?" Mitchell Heeley, half asleep and, I was rather embarrassed to note, only wearing his boxers, opened the door.

"Sorry about that," I replied cheerily, "But I was wondering if your cabin would like to participate in a little revenge against the Hermes cabin?"

"What've they done –?" Mitchell stared in horror at the Aphrodite cabin, the occupants of whom had basically woken the entire camp with their screaming, "Holy… count us in."

"Good," I nodded, for once offering him my hand to shake in allegiance, "tomorrow at 3 then? By the beach?"

"Deal," the door closed and I turned to the other campers.

"What about you guys," I asked, "Think you can meet us there?"

"Easy," Percy replied; his cabin and the Hades cabin both nodded.

"Count us in," the Apollo cabin stepped forward. I grinned at them all.

"See you all there," I said.

… **3pm, long island beach, camp Half-Blood**…

We sat on the beach, Nico and the other Hades kids having sent hellhounds to guard for us against a certain god of tricksters and his cabin, and were discussing how to get back at the Hermes cabin.

"We could try water-pistols?" a little girl from the Poseidon cabin suggested.

"It's a bit too obvious," Mitchell replied, "Nice idea though,"

"It's given me an idea," I grinned, "How many of you could get hold of some bird's custard and a couple of large buckets each?"

The group stared at me.

"Cora, you're insane." Mitchell was laughing, "If you think they'll fall for that trick –"

"Hecate was nice enough to say that if I ever needed a hand with something," I reminded him, my eyes glittering as they usually did when I thought up an evil plan, "I could always ask her. And Meniloe's not bad either."

"No," Nico said, "Totally and categorically no."

"What?" I asked, "All we need to do is ask her to lend us a poltergeist for a couple of days, give him the ready-made custard – let's colour it pink!"

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Percy grinned, "but if you're thinking what I think you're thinking, it just might work,"

I grinned at him; "Let's dig out those old paintball guns."

…**The day of the prank**…

We timed out set-up perfectly; the Apollo Cabin had pieced together some really bad music and poetry, which they were setting up in the Hermes Cabin (basically, a few wireless loudspeakers hidden under all the beds), the Poseidon cabin had paintball guns loaded with blue paint ammunition, the Zeus kids had yellow paint and us in the Hades cabin were in charge of managing the poltergeist and custard (Hecate had placed an invisibility charm on it that could be activated by a click).

All this was very well, but we had also added a hyper Mrs O'Leary to the mix; Percy had told her to keep the Hermes kids busy while we set up and cleared out, and the results of that were audible throughout the whole camp.

In 20 minutes, everything was set up; the custard buckets were hanging from the ceiling and looked like they were about to fall, which were going to be activated when everyone had left, the poltergeist was hiding under one of the beds (Nico and I had told him that if he tried anything other that what we'd told him to do we'd get him the worst torture in the fields of punishment – which is actually possible because I'm the one who deals with most of the paperwork).

Everyone else crept through the door before I set the trip wire, which I did when outside. When that was sorted out I clicked my fingers and smiled as all the evidence of our plan was hidden.

We scarpered back to the Aphrodite cabin, which had been cleaned and was conveniently opposite the Hermes one (they'd given us their permission) and waited with video cameras and paintball guns (I kitted up the other Hades kids with black-ammunition paintball guns and handed out orange grenades to the Apollo kids before picking up my special black grenade belts).

…**10 minutes later**…

Mrs O'Leary had done her job well; the Hermes kids just wanted to get back to their cabin and relax for a bit, so they opened the door –

And were promptly attacked by clashing music, bad poetry, cold custard and a very hyper poltergeist.

"Now!"

We all charged out of the Aphrodite cabin, hollering battle cries at the tops of our lungs (for example, the Hades battle cry; "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" but only when it suits us) and firing multi-coloured paintballs at them (we'd set up a score system – the cabin who hit the most people, as shown by the paint colours, would win).

Naturally, the Hermes cabin had last-minute retaliation pranks, like one of the old automatons from Capture the Flag, so they set them off and hid in the cabin.

Not, unfortunately, good enough when some of us have paint grenades; the Apollo cabin and I, in true battle fashion, unpinned several grenades and threw them through the windows. The cabin promptly exploded in a flash of orange-and-black paint.

Annabeth and Grover had volunteered to hold cameras for us, so they, naturally saw the whole thing unfolding from their vantage positions in nearby trees, whilst laughing quietly at the most insane payback prank in the history of camp half-blood.

When the automaton had shut down and we'd run out of ammo, we tallied up scores, decided it was impossible to score points because everyone in the Hermes Cabin was officially covered in all kinds of paint and legged it to our classes (or, in my case, going to the big house to learn pinochle from Chiron) before the Hermes cabin could do anything back.

Revenge, my friends, is very sweet.

…**at dinner**…

Everyone was laughing and joking at the Hermes cabin's expense (mainly because we'd shown them all the videos), heck – even Dionysus was laughing (how that happened I'll never know because, seriously, I swear that guy never laughs at anything we do).

I was chatting with Nico, one of my personally more favoured ones of Hades' children, when Connor and Travis came over.

"Yes?" I asked, grinning at them.

"We just thought we'd let you know –" Travis began.

"– it's on," Connor finished, "officially."

I nodded, still grinning, "You guys might like to know that your hair's still got custard in it."

…

**TADA!!!!! Finished! I have to say I liked writing this one; it was rather fun to come up with random prank ideas.**

**And for those of you who would like to know this useless piece of information – the custard idea came from mine and my sister's "custard campaign" which basically means that we're trying to get our mum to let us eat the custard. Don't ask.**

**Also, for those of you who have alerted my story but not reviewed, could you please review? I like feedback! Thank you!**

**Click the green button! You know you want to!**


	3. Chapter 3

Cara does Apollo a favour

**Disclaimer: see chapter one.**

**Summary: Connor and Travis are plotting revenge on the ultimate prank, Morpheus is pestering Cara about ideas for the perfect nightmare and Apollo has a major problem. Naturally, Cara chooses to deal with Apollo first, with some interesting consequences…**

…

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"Morpheus I'm trying to sleep, Dammit!"

Morpheus pouted and I took my frustration out on a passing cloud.

This was the 3rd time in as many nights that Morpheus had been bothering me. He'd hit a wall and wanted to create the perfect nightmare and, because most of my time before summer camp was spent with dead people, he'd come to me for advice and I wasn't having any of it.

What? How would you feel if godly visits happened on a regular occurrence and the result was a severe lack of sleep?

Seriously even the dead aren't that annoying, and that's saying something.

"I'm out of ideas!"

"Well how do you think I feel?" I snapped in response, "I'm tired; I haven't been sleeping because you keep bothering me and apparently Apollo has a job he wants me to do tomorrow."

"That busy huh?"

"Trust me, this is a good week."

Morpheus snorted and flopped down on a sofa-shaped cloud, "I don't even want to know what a bad week's like then."

"You really don't," I replied, "Can I get back to sleep please?"

"Sure," Morpheus waved his hand and I was out like a light.

…

Next morning, straight after breakfast, I was effectively dragged to the big house – which would've been scary enough believe me – to see Apollo.

The reason why I was nervous? Apollo and I had a major argument about Paramore and Hanna Montana last time I saw him and the end result was that the Apollo cabin was (I influenced this but didn't actually put them up, I swear) covered in Paramore posters.

Apollo also said he'd fry me to a crisp if he ever saw me again.

I love how polite the gods are.

Fortunately, Chiron, Poseidon and Dionysus were sat in to prevent any recurrences of that little incident.

"Well, well," Apollo was glaring, "If it isn't little miss doom and gloom,"

"I'm not even going to dignify that pathetic little remark with a retort," I replied evenly, flopping onto a chair on the other side of the table, "I won't stoop to your level."

Apollo was itching to vaporize me, I could tell, but it wouldn't work because Hades made me immortal (even if I'm not a goddess) and, even if it did, Hades would guarantee that all Apollo's kids for the next 500 generations would get fields of punishment.

"Before this erupts into another little lovers' tiff," Poseidon deliberately chose those words, "We have important business to discuss."

"It's not a lovers tiff!" I protested, "I'm too busy with work to even think about sick stuff like that! He's the dad of some of my best friends for goodness sake!"

"For once we actually agree on something," Apollo added, "Who'd want to be her boyfriend?"

"Excuse you!" I retorted, "I seem to remember a time when you kept asking me to go out with you whenever I was working."

"I was drunk,"

"You hadn't been anywhere near alcohol or drugs,"

"Shut up,"

"Charming," I snorted, "I can see why so many women had kids with you,"

"Thank you,"

I stared at the smug Apollo, "I was being sarcastic."

The smirk became a glare; I smiled sweetly back.

"Anyway…" Poseidon interjected again, "Apollo, you have a job for Cora?"

"My Lyre has been stolen."

I blinked, "What?"

Apollo repeated the statement.

"And what am I supposed to do about it?"

"We've received information that suggests that it's being sent to the underworld," Poseidon explained, "So, seeing as you're the only one who knows the whole of the underworld by heart, we hoped you could locate the thief,"

"Slightly impossible because I'm barred from the underworld until my training's complete," I replied, "But I'll try, if –" I smiled evilly, "Apollo swears on the river Styx that Paramore is better than Hannah Montana."

Apollo grumbled something.

"Didn't catch that," I replied.

"Alright!" more grumbling before he finally said; "I swear on the River Styx that Paramore is better than Hannah Montana,"

The sky rumbled.

"Can I take people with me?"

"Only 2 people,"

I pouted; "I'm gonna go see the Oracle,"

"You do that,"

Apollo was being more sarcastic now that I'd scored a point against him.

I ignored him and skipped up the stars to see Rachel.

"Hi Rachel!" I called, poking my head around the door at the furiously doodling Oracle, "'Sup?"

"Apollo's Lyre," Rachel replied, "you're going after it?"

"I don't know that's why I'm asking you,"

"Well, you'll have to take Percy with you," Rachel replied, "And Nico."

"What about Annabeth?"

"She'll be jealous for a while," Rachel replied, "But it's you, the eldest son of Poseidon and the eldest son of Hades, which is technically Nico."

"Even though he was trapped in the lotus casino for seventy years," I nodded, "Anything else I should know?"

Rachel's eyes turned a glowing green.

"Oh no," I pleaded, "Rach, don't – you know it freaks me out."

Instead of hearing me, she carried on with the scary green-eyes thing, which meant she was well and truly possessed. Great.

"_To begin your quest you shall go below ground,_

_By the eldest of Hades, the Lyre will be found,_

_The first son of Poseidon shall lead thee from dread,_

_And a lost son of Hermes you shall return from the dead._"

I'd like to say I took it all in my stride and acted like this was normal, but I didn't. In all honesty, I checked to see that Rachel was okay; made sure she had a drink of water and then had a major freak out session.

What? How would you feel if your best friend suddenly went all scary on you and said that some corpse was going to come back? Anyone who works for Hades (or is one of his kids) would tell you that the very idea of that is enough to terrify us – it's simply not natural.

So when Nico and Percy came running in to find Rachel laughing and me sat in the middle of the room, rocking like I'm in a straightjacket and humming an old lullaby one of the accountant ghosts liked to sing, they were evidently wondering what the hell was going on.

Neither I nor Rachel was in any fit state to explain, so they waited for a few minutes to see if we'd calm down.

"What the hell did you mean by 'return from the dead'?" I suddenly burst out, shocking everyone into silence, "It's bad enough that you go all evil-eyes on me but '_return from the dead_'? _**WHY**_?"

"That's what the prophecy said?" Percy asked; I glared at him.

"Would I be sat in the middle of the room humming a lullaby if it wasn't?" I snapped; Nico frowned.

"That's impossible," Nico decided, "unless there's a soul who's cheated death, and even that's risky."

"Not quite," I replied, finally standing up, "When I was organising the files on resurrection I found something rather interesting."

"Which was?"

"There are four ways of bringing a soul back from the grave," I told them, flopping onto the bed next to Rachel and counting on my fingers, "The first is by Lord Hades' consent, which is how I got my second shot, the second is to let them escape through the tunnels leading to the upper world, the third is replace the soul with the soul of one who has cheated death," I tried to take a deep breath before mentioning the fourth one, which I somehow knew was how this guy was going to come back to life, "and the fourth is if a person has been resurrected, they get injured and a spirit comes into contact with their blood –"

"Gods," Nico also said something else that was slightly more expletive, "You can't go,"

"I have to," I replied, "I can't go downstairs and say, 'guess what Apollo, I can't go after all because I don't want to be responsible for an accidental resurrection' can I? Besides; you two are coming with me."

"What?!"

"The prophesy mentioned you two," I insisted, "So you're coming. End of discussion. Thanks Rachel,"

"No problem," Rachel grinned at me, and I could tell that the fact that I'm terrified of resurrection, despite the fact that I was resurrected myself, was going to travel around camp while we were gone.

…

We got suited up and, after Nico and me yelling at Percy and Annabeth to get a room, because we didn't want to see them making out, we set off.

Not, however, before Annabeth told me that if anything bad happened to Percy, she would hold me responsible.

"I'll be a good babysitter and look after him," I promised; Percy stuck his tongue out at the pair of us.

"Cora!"

I turned to find Apollo walking towards us.

"Do you know where you're going first?" he asked.

"Underground," I replied, "So I'm thinking I'll go to Hades and ask him if he can give us a hand,"

"You're crazy,"

"I'm following my instincts," I replied, "even though at the moment my instincts are also telling me to run around screaming in panic,"

Apollo laughed, "Something Rachel said?"

"That and the green-demon routine," I replied, "Guitar Hero tournament when I get back?"

"You're on,"

I grinned and turned to Nico and Percy, "Let's move out."

…

I didn't have any magic items when I entered camp; all I had was my backpack that could store anything including a kitchen sink (we've tried this, it works) and still be light as a feather. Oh – and a black star-sapphire vines-and-flowers hair clip that Persephone gave me as payment for organising the re-planting of her garden. I have absolutely no idea what that's for except to look nice, but I never take it off all the same.

"So," Percy asked, "where to first?"

I took my hair clip out and looked at it.

"Underworld," I said, "There's something I need to ask Hades."

The flowers and vines suddenly glowed and we were sucked into the earth.

…

"Well," I said, standing up and dusting myself down as if I'd been expecting it, "That was unusual," I put the hair clip back in my hair and looked at the two boys, who were in a tangled heap on the floor.

"Could you warn us next time?" Nico demanded, "That scared the hell out of me!"

"Sorry, Nico," I grinned and hauled them both up, "I didn't expect that."

We walked up to Cerberus, who growled at Percy first.

"Hey, bug guy!" I called, pulling a giant red rubber ball out of my bag and throwing it to his heads, "sorry I missed your birthday!"

Cerberus barked excitedly and started playing with the ball. Percy, Nico and I walked past without incident.

Well, until we reached the gates to Hades' palace. Then there was a major incident with the guys who guard the place.

"You cannot pass," they said in their scary unison voices as they brandished their weapons.

"It's kind of important."

"You cannot pass,"

"I am Cora, assistant of Hades; this is Nico, son of Hades and Percy, son of Poseidon,"

"You cannot pass,"

"Are they the only words you know?"

"You cannot pass,"

"Fine," I pulled out a paint grenade I'd found in my pocket, "unless you want to be blown to smithereens, you'll let us pass."

"You cannot pass,"

I sighed and decided to try a different tactic; "The way is shut, it was made by those who are dead, and the dead keep it, the way is shut."

The gates opened, but the guards wouldn't let us go, so I tried something else.

"Cover your ears," I whispered to Percy and Nico.

"Why?"

"Unless you want your eardrums to explode…"

They hastily covered their ears. I took a deep breath, threw my head back –

And screamed like a banshee.

The guards rather quickly backed off and we ran through before they knew what was happening.

Normally, I would timidly poke my head around the door and ask to speak to Hades, but I didn't really think I had the time, so I burst in just as he was about to zap a visiting camper; coincidentally it was Mitchell Heeley, who'd gone on a quest a few weeks back and had subsequently gone missing.

"Cora?" Hades and Mitchell were both surprised and (much to my dismay) I heard stunned gasps from Percy and Nico, meaning that my jeans and T-shirt had magically changed to a long black dress, and my hair had magically tied itself up in a bun (except for a couple of little locks, which were curling around my face).

"My lord," I strode forward and bowed, as I always did, "Firstly, why are you zapping Mitchell Heeley?"

Hades glared at the offending son of Zeus, "He has killed some of my guards,"

"That's not a good enough reason to zap him." I replied, "your guards were dead anyhow."

Hades waved his hand and Mitchell Heeley vanished.

"Where to?"

"Back to his camp," Hades responded to my question, "Anything else?"

"Yeah," I fidgeted for a bit, "We kind of need your help,"

"With what?"

"Apollo's Lyre got pinched," Nico explained, "We're trying to find it."

"I would know if it had entered my domain," Hades replied.

"We need to talk to someone who was good at thieving," I continued, "If he'd stolen the Lyre, where would he put it?"

Hades waved a hand and a blonde guy with a scar on his face, aged about 23 or so, suddenly appeared in front of us.

"And who are you?" I asked him.

"Luke Castellan," the ghost responded, "son of Hermes."

I somehow managed to resist the urge to panic.

"If you'd stolen Apollo's Lyre," Percy began, "Where would you put it?"

"That's easy," Luke replied, "Apollo wouldn't look in the really obvious place – a music store."

"Right," I closed my eyes and thought about it for a moment, "Hickies," I decided, "There's one in Elysium isn't there?"

Luke nodded; "I could take you guys there if you like,"

"Sure," Percy shrugged, "why not?"

Why not? Maybe because the person who's meant to be resurrected is a son of Hermes, and this whole thing is steadily driving me insane.

Hades sent us all to Elysium and Luke started leading us down streets of partying people to the Hickies store.

"Okay, let's have a sniff around to see if the dratted harp's here."

"Cora, it's a Lyre."

I stuck my tongue out at Percy, "pedant," I accused; his response was to shrug and laugh.

"Can I help you?"

"Cripes!" I yelled, whirling round to face one of the furies (the one known to Percy as Mrs Dodds, but known to me as Bernard), "Do you have to do that?"

The fury shrugged, "What are you looking for?"

"We're just browsing," I replied, "I need to get a present for one of the other campers, and he's kind of musical."

"Well, you'll probably find something useful," Bernard the fury replied, flapping out of the shop, "just leave the money on the desk."

"Thanks," I replied, slightly unnerved by the sudden and random appearance of Bernard.

"Hey guys!" Nico yelled from a corner of the shop, "I think I've found it!"

We all flocked over to where Nico was holding a glowing, golden Lyre.

"That's it," I grinned, "Well done, Nico, let's get out of here."

"_You will never leave this place alive_" a voice hissed behind us. I turned to see a _dracinae_ guarding the door.

"Oh hell no," I sighed; trust us to not have an easy trip.

Percy uncapped Riptide and approached the dragon woman, who laughed nastily and lunged at him.

Luke tackled her to the ground and gave Percy the chance to cut off her head, but before he got the chance, it changed into Percy's mum.

"You wouldn't kill your mother would you, Percy?" it asked.

"Percy?" I asked, "It's not real,"

Percy was frozen. The thing, whatever it was, produced a snake tail, which slithered towards the frozen demigod. I decided to go for the traditional approach; I slapped him across the face.

Turns out I didn't need to; Nico hacked off the tail and then decapitated the monster, which vanished in a puff of yellow sulphur.

"Okay," I sighed, "can we leave now?"

We practically ran from the shop and down one of the routes to earth.

…

It was several hours and several more monster attacks later that we finally admitted we were lost.

"I swear it keeps changing," I sat on a rock and buried my face in my hands.

"Can't we use your flower thing?" Nico asked desperately.

"You can only use it once every 24 hours," I replied, "Luke; your dad does this all the time right?"

"Right," Luke nodded, "but I don't have a clue how it works."

I groaned and hit my head on the rock wall behind me.

Wait – rock wall?

"Oh hell," I muttered and jumped forwards as the "wall" struck the rock I'd just been sitting on, revealing a tunnel behind it.

"Run!" I yelled, pushing everyone towards the tunnel. Luke, not wanting to be the last, half dragged me in as the wall retracted. We were sealed in.

"This way," Percy suddenly walked towards the wall again.

"What are you doing?" I asked; Percy just uncapped Riptide and used the light to reveal a detailed map of the underworld."

"Nice," I nodded.

Percy looked at the map for a few more minutes before leading us to the right, through a long winding route of tunnels to a large golden gate.

"I can see where they get pearly gates from," I commented, "thanks Percy."

"No problem," Percy replied.

"Actually, there is."

"Aw, hell," I grumbled as yet another monster rose out of the pit separating us from the gate.

"_I am the demon of the gate,_" it rasped; I held my breath as the stench of rotting corpses exuded from its mouth.

"Really?" I asked sarcastically, "I thought you were the Trix rabbit."

"_I demand a sacrifice_" the thing continued its speech.

"I think he… she… it… wants a life," I commented.

"I'll do it,"

"Luke," I reasoned, "in case you didn't notice, you're not exactly alive."

"Neither are you," Luke shot back, grinning.

"Touché," I raised my eyebrows at the son of Hermes.

"I'll –"

"No!" Luke and I yelled at Percy and Nico, who decided not to volunteer after that.

"I'm more alive than you are, ghost boy," I pointed out.

"You're more valuable to Hades than I am," Luke countered.

"So I'm the logical choice," I replied, "I can't die so I can easily cut myself out."

"I am dead so I'm already a sacrifice." Luke replied.

The thing chuckled.

"What's so funny?" I demanded.

"_I don't want one life,"_ the thing informed us, _"I want all of you!"_ it lunged toward Nico.

"Cripes!" I yelled, grabbing Nico and Percy and yanking them out of the way – the thing crashed into the rock and sealed off the tunnel.

"You two get back!" Luke yelled, drawing a half-steel, half celestial bronze sword from his belt and standing in front of Percy, Nico and me, "And you, Cora!"

"And let you have all the fun?" I asked, snorting, "Not likely." I drew my stygian iron sword and slashed a large chunk out of the things side.

"If I get destroyed it doesn't matter," Luke replied, parrying a strike from the thing's tail as I slashed its stomach, "You three aren't expendable."

"I'm not going to sit back and let you get obliterated on your own," I replied, "If we're all gonna go down, I want to go down fighting, thanks." I hacked off the thing's tail as it whipped round to strike the two living half-bloods. Obviously, it failed.

Luke decided that there was no point in arguing with a crazy ex-dead girl; either that or he was too interested in staying in one piece to care about whatever I was doing.

The pit thing suddenly lunged at Percy and Nico, who only managed to get out of the way in time because guess who happened to be in the way?

That's right; me.

Naturally, I ended up bleeding from a rather nasty gash in my side and being slung across the cavern in a broken heap.

In the end, it was Percy who killed the dreaded monster of doom; he found a skeleton with a Javelin, nabbed the weapon and threw it into the thing's neck in such a way that it speared its brain.

The thing, whatever it was, disintegrated into Sulphur.

"Ow," I coughed and tasted something tangy in my mouth, "Ow,"

I only realised that I'd bitten the inside of my mouth when Luke handed me a tissue.

"Thanks" I said, pressing it to my lip, "let's scram before anything else materialises,"

I think the only was to describe how fast we ran is the old cliché, "like bats out of hell"

…

Paperwork.

I risk my life to get a flipping instrument for a god and I still have to do the paperwork.

Still; at least Luke insisted on helping, which made my life a whole lot easier.

If you ever try to get a job, don't get one with Hades, doing his paperwork. It's one of the most boring bits of my job.

"So, you do this often?" Luke asked as I stamped several pieces of paper and put them in a pile.

"All the time," I replied, screwing up a blank piece and throwing it over my head into the paper bin at the far wall.

"Nice shot," Luke commented.

"I've had a lot of practice," I signed the top piece of paper on a new pile before handing it to him, "second drawer on the left," I said. He took the papers and turned to the filing cabinets.

"Ow!" I jumped, cursing as I looked at my finger.

"What did you do?" Luke asked, having just put the papers away.

"Paper cut," I replied; Luke laughed and grabbed hold of the bleeding hand.

"I'll get a band-aid," he chuckled, pulling a plaster out of the drawer on my desk and sticking it to my finger.

Hades suddenly came bursting in.

"There's someone living in here," he announced, looking at the plaster on my finger, "Again?" he asked.

"There's plasters on the shopping list for a reason," I replied, "And the living person is me."

"No I mean another…" he looked at Luke, "you touched the paper cut didn't you?"

"Probably, when I was putting the band-aid on her finger," Luke replied, "Why?"

"Dammit!" I yelled, hitting my head on the table, "Damn you, Rachel! Damn your Oracle-ey powers!"

Hades chuckled, "You know what this means, Cora?"

"More paperwork?" I despaired.

"No, I'll get one of your assistants to deal with that," Hades replied, "It means that Camp Half-blood has gained another camper. I'm sending you both there now."

We vanished in a puff of swirly black smoke.

…

"Cora!"

"Oh my gods! It's Luke!"

Everyone was fussing over us like we'd done something incredibly heroic; I resisted the urge to ask the ground to swallow me up.

Eventually the crowd was dispersed by the appearance of Apollo, Rachel, Percy, Nico and Chiron.

"How?" Nico asked with a grin on his face.

"Paper cut." Luke and I replied. Percy grumbled and gave Nico $20.

"I'm not even going to ask," I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, yes, yes," Dionysus, surprisingly good at ruining parties given his title, spectacularly killed the mood by interrupted, "The Kronos servant is alive again and doubtless has an even bigger ego –"

"Shut up," I don't have the faintest idea how I got the courage to stand up to the scary fat man of questionable fashion sense, "He stopped Kronos, in case you forgot. Not his servant."

"He was," Dionysus growled, "do you want me to let you stay human or would you rather be a chipmunk?"

I shrugged and stared at him levelly; "Face, sodding, your, shut." I informed him calmly, "construct a sentence out of that."

Everyone was staring at me in shock; usually I was a quiet, demure kind of girl who wouldn't say boo to a goose. Apparently; clearly they forgot about paintball.

Dionysus took one look at me, decided he wasn't going to win against a girl who spends most of her time with dead people and poofed off somewhere.

Everyone was silent.

"Do you two want to play guitar hero?" Apollo asked Luke and me, "Best of three?"

I grinned at him, ignoring the other campers who were staring in shock.

"You're on."

…

**Tada!!!! *Dodges flames* okay it sucked but I wanted to update! Quit complaining! XD**

**All that's left for you to do is…**

…_**Click the green button below**_


	4. Chapter 4

Zeus loses things… again.

**Disclaimer: See chapter one and two**

**Sorry about the long wait but I ran out of ideas… but then I got this one so all is well! XD**

**Anyhow, this is the story of how Zeus loses his master bolt… again… and this time accuses Nico and Luke. Naturally, Cora is set the task of finding it by her boss, and therefore has to go to Olympus. There's just one problem…**

…

"Cora! Cora!"

I mumbled something along the lines of "go away I'm trying to sleep" only nowhere near as polite before pulling the bed cover over my head.

It was ripped from my hand before the teenager half-dragged me outside and drenched me in water.

"Wake up!"

I shrieked and tackled the offending teen before I realised who it was.

"Holy crap! Hades?" I gasped, "What the hell are you doing as a teenager? And what was that for?"

"Zeus's bolt has gone missing again," Hades explained, handing me a towel, "And he's accusing my son,"

"Which one?" I asked casually, "the ones the same age as you or younger?"

Hades rolled his eyes at me.

"Nico." He replied.

I stopped drying my hair with the towel.

"_What?_" I asked; everyone in camp half-blood knew that I'd essentially adopted Nico as a little brother; mainly because of the amount of times I'd bog-washed Mitchell Heeley. I was very protective of my adopted family.

"Nico's been accused of stealing the master bolt," Hades repeated, "And Luke Castellan – remember him?"

How could I forget? After the last quest I went on when I was looking for Apollo's Lyre, Luke, a dead son of Hermes who for some reason wasn't permitted to try for the Isles of the Blessed, insisted on helping me with the paperwork. As per usual I got a paper-cut and Luke decided to sort out the plaster himself, accidentally coming into contact with my blood in the process and subsequently being brought back to life.

Since then, there have been a lot of rumours flying around camp… only doubled by the bonfire party incident when the Stoll brothers decided to bring alcohol to the party.

And no, I am not telling you what happened, except that Percy and Annabeth got off with each other, Connor and Travis started singing something about a herring in a bathing costume and Luke and I may have kissed a little.

But what everyone's saying is completely untrue.

"Yes I remember him," I replied, "So what am I going to do?"

"I need you to go to Olympus and look for it," Hades replied, "That Mitchell boy's supposed to be going in a couple of days, see if you can go with him,"

"Why's Mitch going?" I was totally confused.

"He's supposed to help with looking for the lightening bolt," Hades shrugged, "He'll be talking with the Oracle tomorrow."

"Oh Joy," I replied sarcastically; just like the bonfire party incident, everyone knew that Mitchell and I had a history of trying to kick the living bejeesus out of each other. So far I was winning.

"If you can find out where the bolt is and who put it there," Hades explained, ignoring my sarcastic comment, "You'll be able to clear Nico's name. And Luke's. And stop them from being killed by Zeus."

I was sorely tempted to throttle the teenage Hades, but thought better of it and sighed, resigned to my fate, "Fine, but you owe me, big time."

"You're in my service," Hades pointed out, "I owe you nothing,"

"You owe me that sword you shattered the other week," I countered, "Klutz Lord,"

Hades chuckled and vanished, leaving me shivering and still dripping wet.

I sighed and attacked myself with the towel again before heading inside to my bunk.

…

If a cockerel had been crowing the next morning I would've shot it.

Unfortunately it was a conch horn, so I didn't have the pleasure of testing out my new crossbow.

Wait – new crossbow?

I decided that Hades was repaying for the sword he'd broken, but I hate crossbows because I'm a lousy shot, so I left it at the end of the bed, got myself dressed and cleaned up and stumbled, bleary-eyed, to the tables, sacrificing the best parts of whatever I had (I wasn't paying attention) to Hades, as usual, before also sacrificing some coffee to "whichever genius invented this stuff – thanks,"

Hey; if I don't get something caffeinated in the mornings you can bet someone's gonna get themselves killed, or at least very badly wounded. I'd have to say, the phrase "I haven't had my coffee today, don't make me kill you" was practically made for me.

"Morning, Cora!" Nico grinned as he flopped into the seat next to me; I managed a sleepy smile before downing the coffee.

"Rough night?" Percy asked as he passed our table.

"If you call 'being woken up at 1 in the morning to a bucket of cold water outside by your boss' a rough night then yeah," I replied grumpily.

"What did dad want now?" Nico asked; I debated telling him, but something warned me against it.

"Just some paperwork thing he needed clearing up," I replied, knowing he wouldn't believe me because I'm a bad enough liar as it is without not being fully awake.

Nico raised his eyebrows at me, "Sure, whatever," he replied as Percy returned to his table and we started tucking into our breakfasts.

After everyone had finished, Chiron made his usual announcements before adding something about Mitchell, me Nico and Luke being needed at the big house as soon as was humanly (or demigodly) possible.

Naturally, I was there within a few minutes and was playing what had become known to the campers as "the unspeakable game" with Rachel by the time Mitchell, Luke and Nico decided to grace us with their presence.

"What's the problem?" Mitchell asked, nodding curtly at me before deliberately sitting in a chair as far away from mine as he could; Luke and Nico sat in the two chairs between me and Mitchell, bracing themselves in case one of us decided to attack the other.

"Zeus's master bolt has been stolen again," Chiron replied, "And he's accusing you two," he pointed at Nico and Luke, who immediately exploded in protest.

"But I didn't –"

"– Learned my mistake from last time –"

"– He can't say –"

"Well he has," I commented, "Which is what I was forbidden from telling you, Nico, because Hades wanted me to fix it quickly."

"Which you won't," Mitchell snorted, "Because you're about as competent as a rock,"

"Mitchell," I replied in a tone of forced calm, "given the fact that you couldn't even find your pyjamas on the night the Hermes cabin pulled that prank on Aphrodite's kids, I wouldn't exactly trust you with something this important,"

"Oh like you wouldn't just hand the bolt over to Hades," Mitchell sneered.

"Like you wouldn't use it to try and change the appearance of a certain part of your… specifically male anatomy," I retorted.

"Two nil to Cora," Luke grinned.

"Look, you two you're gonna have to work together on this one," Rachel informed us irritably as she dealt out pinochle cards for Grover, "So why don't you just learn to get along?"

"Because he's a twat," I responded.

"Because she sleeps with dead people," Mitchell said at the same time.

"Bit impossible when I'm actually still a virgin, thank you," I snapped, "Mr 'Pon Farr with Felicity during capture the flag'"

Everyone stared at Mitchell.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he replied, heedless to the fact that he was going slightly red.

"Yes you do," I replied, grinning evilly, "Poor little Rosie got lost and walked in on it. I had to use a little of the water of Lethe to get her to forget it."

"Mention that to anyone and you're dead, McPherson," Mitchell growled.

"What's Pon Farr?" Nico asked curiously.

"It's a Vulcan mating thing from Star Trek," Luke explained, "But I'm not telling you any more than that,"

"You watch star trek?" I asked; eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, I do," Luke responded, "It's awesome,"

"Luke," I informed him, "My respect for you has just gone up several notches."

Luke smirked slightly and turned to Chiron, "So what do we do?"

"You two do nothing," Chiron replied, "Zeus said he will kill you both if you appear on Olympus unless it can be proven that you have done nothing. Cora, you and Mitchell must go to Olympus, try to convince Zeus that they didn't steal the bolt –"

"I'm not going with her," Mitchell stated flatly, "No chance."

"So you'll be able to find the bolt yourself?" I asked casually, leaning back in my chair, "suits me,"

"Hades wants you to help, Cora," Chiron chided.

"I know he does," I replied as I put my feet up on the table and rearranged my _Avenged Sevenfold_ T-shirt, "But if Mitchell here thinks he won't need help from someone who can sense items of power then what can I do?" I shrugged and crossed my arms behind my head, not failing to notice that Nico was grinning and Luke was struggling to contain his laughter.

"I'll find someone else who can detect items of power," Mitchell snapped tensely.

"Sure," I responded, "But will they be as incorrupt as I am?"

"I wouldn't call you incorrupt, Cora," Nico grinned, "remember the paintball thing?"

"That's not being corrupt," I responded, "That's just bending the rules a little,"

"I'm not going on a quest with her!" Mitchell insisted, not noticing that while we had been bickering, Rachel's eyes had started to glow green.

"_The son of Zeus will lead the quest_

_To convince his father he'll try his best_

_But Hades' servant, in one way blind,_

_Shall find the truth, and friends unbind,_"

There was a moment of awkward silence as everyone stared at me and Mitchell.

"I'm not going with her," Mitchell insisted.

"You have no choice," Chiron responded, "Cora – Cora?"

He hat turned to face the spot where I had been sitting, only to discover that I was hiding in the corner with my hands over my ears.

"Cora," Chiron sighed, "She's stopped prophesising,"

I instantly recovered from my sojourn in the corner and sat in my chair as if nothing had happened.

"You and Mitchell are going to Olympus," Chiron explained, "Try to convince Zeus that Nico and Luke did not steal the master bolt,"

"Fat chance," I snorted, "If he's anything like Mitchy here it'll be impossible."

"I'm not that bad!" Mitchell insisted.

"Oh no?" I responded, "The phrase 'stubborn as an ox' ring any bells? And 'one born every minute' was totally made for your dad – What?" I asked as an angry roll of thunder sounded above our heads, "Let's face it, Sky-lord, when it comes to your marriage to Hera, your stories of how faithful you are to your wife are probably the biggest works of fiction since vows of fidelity were included in the French marriage service,"

A louder rumble; I decided it might be a good idea to keep my mouth shut.

"You will need to spend the next hour gathering what you need," Chiron explained, "You'll be leaving at noon,"

"That anxious to get rid of us, old bean?" I asked, grinning.

"No," Chiron replied, "merely anxious to stop a war."

The meeting was concluded and I ran back to the Hades cabin to pack my backpack. I looked at the end of the bed - the crossbow now had a note attached to it;

"_None of my children use crossbows,_

_It will change into whatever is convenient for you._

_Happy re-Birthday,_

_Hades_,"

I'd been so caught up in life at camp that I'd completely forgotten that I'd been working for Hades for a year. I picked up the crossbow and pictured an old silver pendant I'd had when I was alive. I looped the necklace around my neck, picked up my bag and stepped out into the light to find Mitchell struggling to fit his bow in his pack.

"Look, Mitch," I sighed, taking the bow and slipping it into my pack, "If we're going to be working together there's something you might want to know,"

"What?" he asked, looking slightly worried; to be fair I don't blame him – going on a quest with someone you hate isn't exactly my idea of fun.

"It's exactly one year to the day that I've been working for Hades," I explained, "Which means I'll probably start acting a bit strange during the day."

"Stranger than normal?"

"A lot stranger," I agreed, "As in vanishing in shadows and stuff,"

"Thanks for the warning," Mitchell shrugged, "As long as you aren't going to kill me or anything then that's fine by me,"

I grinned, "And don't be alarmed by the necklace either – re-birthday present from Hades,"

"What's it do?"

"You'll see," I waved cheerily at Argus before saying my goodbyes to everyone and hopping into the back of the car and waiting for Mitchell to stop making out with his girlfriend.

In the end it was Argus punching the horn that got Mitchell's attention and, after a sheepish goodbye to his friends and siblings, he clambered into the back of the car and we set off.

"How the hell d'you fit so much stuff in that pack?" he asked as I pulled out a tent, several knives, a stereo and his bow in the search for my iPod.

"Magic item," I informed him, pulling the iPod out of my bag, putting everything else back in, sticking the headphones in my ears and going to sleep with Slipknot blasting my eardrums.

…

I'd like to say that I had a normal sleep, but it's the same for me as with half-bloods; dreams are weird and usually scary.

This one, for example; Hera organising Zeus's things in their room. Don't even ask me why that was playing in my head, I have no idea. She picked up some big leather tube and put it in one of the drawers, evidently not aware that it felt like the air was charged around it. Seriously if I'd actually been there and was an Aphrodite girl I'd be complaining about the damage to my hair.

But I saw something when Hera closed the drawer – a lightening-bolt mark on the side of the cylinder.

_Well,_ I thought to myself, _that's one mystery solved._

I was about to wonder about a bit in the dream when a sharp jab in she side jerked me awake.

"Ow," Mitchell grabbed his nose, "You didn't have to hit me that hard, and what's with the bat?"

I looked at the bat in my hand and absently noticed that my necklace was missing. Rolling my eyes I forced the bat to return to the shape it had been before I'd been woken up and looped it back around my neck, heedless to the shocked expression on Mitchell's face.

"You woke me up, you idiot," I snapped back irritably, "What's got your wings in a knot?"

"We're here,"

I looked out at the entrance of the empire state building.

"Oh,"

We clambered out of the car and into the main office bit of the building.

"We need to see Zeus," Mitchell said to the secretary.

"Unless you've got an appointment, kiddo," the man replied, not even looking up, "It's a no go,"

"I'm his son,"

"Not my problem,"

"Well what about me?" I asked, taking off my left fingerless glove to reveal a black skull mark on my wrist.

"Oh," the secretary hastily handed us a card, "Make sure nobody else is in the lift, go on up,"

"Come on," I stepped into the empty lift, Mitchell following, and slid the card into the slot. Mitchell pushed the button for Olympus and after a few seconds the doors slid open to reveal Olympus.

"See if you can distract the Olympians, Mitch," I told him, "I think I know where the bolt is,"

"You sure?" Mitchell asked.

"I suspect Hera went on a cleaning spree," I replied, "Which means the bolt is in some drawer or other,"

"In their bedroom?" Mitchell asked; I grimaced and nodded.

"I'll see what I can do," he said.

"Thanks"

We parted ways and I took off my necklace; it turned into a compass in an instant.

"Let's see where you are then," I muttered, following the compass point to a different part of Olympus.

…

For some reason, Zeus had forgotten to place guards at his door that day so I managed to slip in without incident.

It was finding the bolt in a room full of powerful things that was the problem.

The compass was getting scrambled by the energy in the room so I closed it and stuffed it into my pocket before looking in every single place I could think of to find the master bolt.

You have no idea how many drawers there were in that room. It was impossible to figure our which was which – they all looked the same.

I guess my hunting must have disturbed someone because the next thing I know I'm leaping into a shadowy corner as one of the other Olympians came in.

"I know there's someone in here," Apollo called, "So you may as well come out,"

I didn't move, silently praying that I could remain unseen in my corner.

Apollo summoned a ball of light to eradicate all the shadows in the room and reveal the intruder (me) and I was forced to hide in (oh the shame) Zeus's underwear drawer.

I was lucky that I kept my eyes closed in there, it was scary enough being surrounded by godly underpants without seeing them.

Eventually Apollo left and I started to edge my way out the front of the drawer through the keyhole when I brushed against something cylindrical and crackly.

I'd found the master bolt.

So, after oozing out of the keyhole and re-materialising as myself, I picked the lock (because the drawers were locked shut and the key was missing, presumably Hera had it) and took out the cylinder before returning the room to the exact state I'd found it in and slipping through the shadows to the Olympian house where Mitchell was still insisting that the bolt wasn't stolen.

"Nobody at camp has been anywhere near Olympus!" he insisted as his father threatened to smite him for siding with the enemy.

"Mitch!" I yelled, positively bouncing over with a cheery wave to Hades, who was now allowed to visit even if it wasn't the winter solstice, "I found it!" I brandished the master bolt cheerfully and handed it to the son of the sky god.

"Where was it?" he asked curiously; I mumbled something long the lines of "you really don't want to know" before Zeus commanded the bolt be given to him.

"So Nico and Luke are ff the hook then?" I asked.

"Of course not!" Zeus replied, "They must pay for their theft,"

There was an outcry as Hermes and Hades protested the innocence of their sons.

"SILENCE!" Zeus roared, "From this day fourth –"

"OI!" I yelled, interrupting the sky god mid-curse, "You want to know where it was? It was in your underwear drawer where your wife left it!"

There was a collective gasp as I supplied that piece of information.

"What were you doing in my underwear drawer?" Zeus asked coldly.

"Hiding," I replied, "I was looking for the bolt in your room because that's where my dream said it was, and Hera put it there because she was tidying."

"It's true, husband," Hera replied, "I tried to tell you this earlier but you wouldn't listen. The boys you accused are innocent,"

"I _knew_ there was someone in there!" Apollo exclaimed triumphantly, "I said as much!"

"Very well," Zeus sighed, "The two boys are forgiven,"

I sighed with relief; my work here was done.

"But you, young lady," Zeus informed me, "Must be punished for invading my living quarters."

"Brother, she found your master bolt and proved the two you accused of theft innocent of the crime," Hades protested, "For heaven's sake would Poseidon punish anyone for invading his living quarters if they were trying to find something he had lost? Would I?"

"Wouldn't be surprised," I muttered, earning me a jab in the ribs from Mitchell, "OW!"

"You are not the overlord of the gods," Zeus pointed out.

"In that case I'm punishing your boy here because you accused my son of theft." Hermes responded.

"And so am I," Hades added, "This is not justice, brother,"

"You're ganging up on my son!" Zeus roared, preparing to unleash his lightening bolt on the two gods, who stood and prepared to unleash whatever powers they had.

"Stop it!" Mitchell yelled, "Father, Cora found your bolt, that clears the names of the two accused and cancels out any wrongdoing she committed in the process of locating it. Uncle, Lord Hermes, I haven't done anything, so why are you cursing me?"

"And for another thing," I added, "You're all acting like two-year-olds fighting over a toy. You should be ashamed of yourselves," I chastised them, somehow making them all look down at their feet in embarrassment, "_Ashamed,_"

"Very well," Zeus grumbled, "You will not be punished today, be gone before I change my mind,"

Mitch and I bowed before we legged it out of the temple and into the waiting lift.

"Thanks for that," I told Mitch.

"No problem,"

"Truce?"

He looked at my proffered hand and shook it firmly, "Truce,"

We hopped into the car just out side the empire state building and Argus turned round and headed for camp.

"Where'd you get he tattoo?" Mitchell asked.

"Huh?"

"The tattoo you showed the security guy," he repeated, "Where'd you get it?"

I grinned and pulled a packet from my backpack.

"Stick-on from Claire's accessories,"

…

**TADA! *Throws confetti* finally updated! XD**

**Hope you enjoyed this rather rubbish chapter! Review to tell me what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

Attack of the Munchkins

**Disclaimer: see first chapter**

**Thanks for the reviews everyone! XD**

**Sorry for the long wait!**

**I finished my exams now! But I'm going on holiday tomorrow so I won't be able to post for 3 weeks!**

**Anyway, here's the next chapter! Enjoy!**

…

I thought working with dead people was bad.

The dead, I can get on with; all I have to do is ask a few questions, fill out a few forms and that's it. Generally they're quiet, have the same morbid sense of humour as me and don't really mind listening to Paramore, Evanescence, Avenged Sevenfold etc.

The living? Forget it; they whinge about the weather, each other's taste in music and their taste in clothes, they're totally two-faced and – I only found out about this a few weeks ago, after Mitchell and I returned from our quest – they pester you incessantly if they happen to have a crush on your friend.

Louise Harmer, an Aphrodite girl, has the world's biggest – and no, I'm not exaggerating here – crush on Luke Castellan. So naturally, because I happen to be his best friend, she keeps asking me what kind of girl he likes, if I think he likes her, what she can do to get his attention, nag, nag, nag, no end of questions no matter how many times I tell her to ask him herself.

I was getting dangerously close to throttling her when Nico came and saved what was left of my sanity.

"Mr D wants to see you," he said, "something about Aphrodite, I think,"

I rolled my eyes and walked past Nico.

"Thank you," I told him, "You've just saved me from another day of interrogation,"

Nico chuckled, "You're welcome,"

I half skipped, half ran to the big house.

…

"You called?" I asked brightly, flopping into one of the chairs.

"Aphrodite's causing trouble again," Dionysus explained.

"What am I supposed to do about it?" I asked, "Seeing as she hates my guts because I don't like Disney all that much – not the new stuff anyway,"

"You're basically her exact opposite," Dionysus began.

"What, plain, despises most Disney with a passion, prefers dark colours, works with dead people and is generally creepy?" I asked, listing what I was on my fingers, "What about it?"

"Logically," Chiron continued Dionysus' point, "You'll be able to reverse whatever it is she has sent Eros to do."

"I'm guessing there's a 'but' involved in this," I began, "I'm not allowed to curse him?"

"No,"

"Damn," I grumbled, "Can I hit him?"

"Yes," Dionysus interrupted before Chiron could confirm that I couldn't, "I give you my expressed permission to maim, torture and generally dissuade the little wretch from doing his mother's bidding. And that," he concluded, "is sworn on the river Styx,"

There was an ominous rumble in the sky and I grinned; this was going to be fun.

…

"Does he like blondes?" Louise asked for the fifth time in one minute, "Or should I dye it? What colour should I dye it? What hairstyle does he –?"

"_For Primus' sake ask him yourself!_" I fumed, for once using the name of the transformer god instead of invoking one of the Ancient Greek ones.

"But what if he laughs at me?" Louise asked.

"Well nothing ventured, nothing gained as they say," I snapped, angrily tapering the flint arrowhead to a dangerously sharp point and putting it in the "completed" bucket, "You don't get any fun if you don't take risks. Just ask him if he likes you."

"Ask who?"

I looked up to find Luke leaning in the doorway.

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked curiously.

"About a minute or so," Luke replied, still leaning on the door in what I have officially dubbed as the 'look at me I'm cool' stance, "Ask who?"

Louise blushed and started mumbling; I rolled my eyes.

"Luke," I began, "Do you like Louise?"

"Huh?" he asked, startled into straightening up.

"Because she's been pestering me for weeks to ask you," I explained, picking up another flint and hammering it into a rough shape, "and she obviously can't talk when you're around, so for the sake of my sanity; do you like Louise?"

"Like as in…?"

"As in she fancies you," I replied, ignoring the Aphrodite girl's blushing, "Do you feel the same way or similar?"

"Uh…" Luke paused, evidently trying to word his answer carefully.

"For the love of Hecate, Luke it's a one-word answer!" I snapped irritably, putting another arrowhead in the bucket, "Yes or no?"

Luke thought about it a moment longer, "No,"

Louise burst into tears and ran from the workshop.

"It's not _that_ awful," I grumbled after her, hammering at another flint.

"What was that about?" Luke looked stunned as he approached the desk where I was working.

"She's been pestering me since Mitchell and I got back from finding Zeus's master bolt," I replied, "It's been driving me crazy,"

Luke let out a short bark of laughter.

"Glad I could rescue what little sanity you have," he grinned, "What're you gonna do with those?" he nodded at the slowly filling bucket of flint arrowheads.

"Apollo's kids broke the arrows they use on the archery range," I responded, dumping another arrowhead into the bucket, "I didn't have anything to do so I offered to make some more arrowheads for them,"

"Don't they use metal ones?"

I looked up at Luke with an irritated glare.

"They know I'm doing flint ones," I responded, "It's only practice arrows anyway. They're not going to use them for actual battles."

Luke grinned broadly and I glared at him again; he'd been teasing.

"Go and find some other girl to irritate," I grumbled, lobbing a flint at him; he just laughed and caught the flint before slipping it into the bucket and leaving before I succumbed to the urge to hit him.

…

Another thing I hate about the living; they all seem to think that a whole cabin against one is perfectly fair.

I'd just handed the arrowheads to Will Johnson – a fellow English camper, although his dad is Apollo – when I was waylaid and cornered by the Aphrodite cabin – not just one or two of them, I mean every single inhabitant – who demanded to know why I'd "been so horrible to Louise".

"I wasn't," I replied, "I asked Luke, in front of her, if he liked her and his answer was no," I shrugged and tried to push past them. As is usual for someone with my inherent lack of luck, I failed.

"What did you do to Luke to get him to not like Louise?" Kelsey Hooper, current leader of the Aphrodite cabin and the type of girl who's bound to have kids before she leaves school, glared at me, determined to get me to admit to her accusation.

"In a word that's commonly used by the northern English," I replied calmly, "Nowt."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Kelsey demanded.

"It's Geordie for 'nothing'" I replied, "I didn't do anything because there was nothing to be done," a movement caught my eye, "Now if you'll excuse me I have a job to do," I pushed through the ranks of super-model kids with my pendant changing into a sword in my hand.

"Oi!" I yelled at a very familiar blonde model teen with a bow in his hand, "What do you think you're doing, Eros? This is private property and I don't remember you being invited."

"Like I'd come here by invitation," he sneered, "I'm here on official business,"

"Well if it's official then shouldn't you be talking to Dionysus?" I suggested, "He deals with that stuff as the head of camp."

"It's none of his business," Eros snapped, "I'm here on behalf of my mother."

"Aphrodite sticking her oar in as usual, I see," I muttered, grabbing the offending minor god roughly by the arm and dragging him off to a place where we could talk privately.

"Dionysus gave me his expressed permission to kick seven shades out of you," I informed him coldly, "And don't think I won't take him up on that after what you did to Mitchell last week."

"That was a false shot," Eros shrugged, "Not my fault his girlfriend happened to be in the way,"

I grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and pressed him against a large oak with a growl.

"Don't even _think_ about shifting the blame onto Felicity," I warned him, almost tasting the acid in my words, "I'm going to give you one chance to _get the hell out of here_ within the next _two seconds_ and if you don't then I swear on the river Styx I'll make you wish you'd never been conceived."

There was another ominous rumble and Eros gulped. Once released he dropped to the floor, gagging and coughing as if I'd stopped him breathing.

"Two seconds, Eros," I warned, "they're nearly over."

Eros glared at me and vanished.

"Well, that was easy," I shrugged, "Almost too –"

I suddenly pitched forward and hit the ground, narrowly avoiding a suspiciously heart-shaped arrow that whizzed over my head.

"Bloody deities!" I fumed, "They never get the message!" I looped the pendant around my neck and willed it to turn into light-weight, impenetrable, full-body armour that basically made me look like a walking titanium statue. I leapt to my feet and ran in the direction that the arrow had come from. After realising that I fully intended to castrate the little bastard, the cherub decided that now would be a good time to take his leave.

I growled and ran back to camp to find half the campers (usually male) locked in their cabins and the other half (mostly female) clawing at the doors, cooing their adoration for the unfortunate campers under siege.

"Bloody hell," I muttered as I saw the carnage; it took me a few minutes to spot the cherubs shooting at point-blanc range.

I rolled my eyes and willed the earth to swallow me.

…

I arrived moments later in the Hades cabin, just as I had intended, thoroughly pleased to see that all of my boss's children were unscathed and had barricaded the door.

"Cora!" Nico exclaimed as the armour reverted back to being a pendant around my neck.

"Thank Hades!" another cabin-member, Jack Wilkes, sighed with relief, "It's chaos out there!"

"I know it is," I replied, "Which is why I'm taking you all to see your father until I can kick the little bastards out of camp. Permanently."

"I want to help," Nico insisted.

"Certainly not!" I exclaimed, "You think I want to risk you getting hit by one of those god-awful pink things? No; you and the rest of the cabin stay in the underworld with Hades and I'll rope some of the gods into helping." I clicked my fingers and we all plummeted into darkness.

…

"Cora, if my children wish to help –"

"I'm sorry, Hades," I repeated for the fifth time, "But I don't want to be responsible for them acting like lovesick puppies – there's incest out there for crying out loud! Do you want them to be subjected to that?"

Hades shuddered and I knew I'd won the argument.

"You'll need Artemis's help," my boss informed me.

"I know," I replied, "But where can I find her?"

"Use your powers, girl!" Hades rolled his eyes impatiently, "Tell Artemis that the cherubs are attacking and she and her hunters will come to your aid – just make sure they come in armour."

I saluted and allowed the ground to swallow me once more.

…

Finding Artemis was the easy bit; it was convincing her and her hunters that they were needed in battle at the camp that was difficult; she still remembered the last time Eros had got involved in the affairs of her hunters.

"I'm not going to risk that happening again," she informed me somewhat coldly, "Your plan is ludicrous, anyway."

"Well it's either that," I replied in a tone that could start an ice age, "or I'll have to call on dead people."

"Well call on them then," came Thalia's response.

"Thalia," I turned to face the lieutenant of the huntresses, "the dead don't discern between cherubs and humans, and I'll have all the gods on my case if I use them. Besides; they aren't as perfect shots as you lot and I'll give you first call on Eros when I track him down."

A slow grin crept across Thalia's face.

"No," Artemis interjected, grinning evilly, "If you are going to hunt down Eros, I want first call; he lost me one of my hunters on Aphrodite's orders,"

"I'm kicking her to Tartarus and back as well if I get the chance," I added, "She's responsible for this anyway."

The hunters went to have a brief conversation before returning.

"We'll help," Artemis announced.

I smiled and set off to convince the other gods.

…

"How can you breathe underwater anyway?" Triton asked.

"I'm technically dead," I responded, "So I don't really need to breathe as much as normal living people do – where did you say your dad was?"

"Cora!" Poseidon exclaimed, rushing over, "How's life over water?"

I didn't even need to tell him; he could tell from the look on my face.

"Tell me everything," he ordered.

"We're gonna be here a while…"

…

Poseidon frowned as I finished the account of current events.

"Aphrodite has ordered Eros to get involved?"

"Yes"

"And he's recruited cherubs?"

"Yes he has,"

"Hmm…" the sea god looked at the Cyclopes toiling away in the forges.

"I'll see what I can do," He informed me.

…

"APHRODITE!" Zeus roared after I informed him of what Eros had done to his beloved son.

Aphrodite, also known as the biggest deified slut in the history of the universe, appeared in a cloud of sickly-smelling perfume.

"What is it, Zeus?" she asked irritably, "I have an appointment,"

"Yeah," I snorted, "With Ares' bed,"

The whore-goddess glared at me.

"You will have Eros reverse everything he has done on camp half-blood," Zeus ordered, "And the same for the mess caused by the cherubs,"

"The cherubs are not my responsibility," Aphrodite sneered, still glaring at me, "Have the Hades girl sort it out."

"I am sorting it," I responded, smiling wickedly "Artemis and her hunters send their regards,"

"You sent Artemis after my son?" Aphrodite shrieked, "From now on you will never have a stable relationship!"

"Doesn't bother me," I shrugged, "I'm not exactly stable myself."

Aphrodite promptly reversed the curse and tried to think of something else.

"You do realise the cherubs are also shooting at your kids?" I pointed out, "The only ones they're avoiding are Eros's children – the Hades cabin had the sense to hide before the cherubs could strike."

Aphrodite screamed in outrage and vanished.

"I will call the gods to arms," Zeus informed me, "And we will put a stop to this nonsense,"

"Much obliged, Sky lord," I bowed gracefully, "much obliged,"

…

It was worse when I got back.

Cherubs had somehow got into the cabins and were shooting everyone they could aim at, so naturally everyone was running every which way getting away from half-bloods and cherubs alike.

Fortunately, Artemis chose that very moment to arrive with her hunters and go all kick-ass on the little rats.

The Cherubs, after realising they were being shot at, turned round to face the hunters in order to unleash their full fury, before being struck by a volley of arrows from the other side – Apollo's cabin had also avoided the carnage and joined in the fight.

Despite my suggestion, Nico and the other children of Hades, and Hades himself, arrived with an invasion force of skeletons, souls and zombies to join in the fight.

Their presence seemed to reverse the affects of the cherubs' arrows; the entire camp woke up in realisation of the battle taking place and immediately came to arms, each with their godly parents leading (Ares in particular seemed to be enjoying himself, teaching Clarisse how to use his new favourite toy, a crossbow with the power of a machine gun) and leapt into the fray.

"Never expected this!" Luke grinned as he appeared next to me, using his sword, backbiter, to kill the cherubs, "How the hell did this happen?"

"You don't remember?" I asked, shocked.

Luke shrugged, "I fell asleep by the beech,"

Poseidon brought down a veritable tsunami on the cherubs, completely drenching the rest of us at the same time (not that I minded; it was 40 degrees out that day) as he and the Cyclopes reached us, hollering battle cries at an impossible volume.

Grover returned after another trip to rescue half-bloods at that moment. Shielding the newbies behind him, he opened his mouth and shrieked a terribly cry that sent the cherubs fleeing in panic, back to whatever sick, sordid little place they came from.

"Grover!" Percy and Annabeth rushed over to welcome the satyr, enveloping him in a rough hug.

"Grover, could kiss you right now," I grinned, "You've just officially saved the whole of camp,"

"You guys were fighting cherubs?" he raised his eyebrows sceptically.

"Long story," I shrugged, turning to the newbies, "Don't worry," I grinned, "This isn't normal,"

"This is a quiet day," Luke grinned, casually looping an arm around my waist as he approached.

"Not helping," I commented, "But the worst that usually happens here is an inter-cabin war, or capture the flag,"

We all laughed.

"Anyway," Grover sighed, "I've got to present the new campers to Mr D, so I'll see you guys later," he lead the newcomers to Dionysus to introduce them.

Percy and Annabeth were looking at me weirdly.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," Percy grinned.

"Seriously; what?"

They just chuckled and walked off, leaving me totally confused.

"Bloody Percabeth," I grumbled – Percabeth being the new name for the couple as one entity.

Luke grinned at them "They'll grow up," he assured me

"Not in the next two years they won't," I replied, sounding irritated.

Luke decided to change the subject; "You know when you asked me about Louise earlier?"

"You mean when she was driving me round the twist with her incessant questioning?" I replied innocently, "Yes I do, why?"

"Remember I said no?"

"Yeah…"

What happened next shocked me so much that I temporarily forgot to slap Luke across the face.

He kissed me.

Not like a peck on the cheek or anything either; it was one of those kisses you usually see in movies – the kind that are supposed to leave you breathless.

Which it did, and I was forced to slap him.

"What the hell was that for?" I asked, knowing that my cheeks were starting to colour.

"That's why I don't see Louise in the same way she sees me," Luke replied, "I'm too in love with someone else,"

"A creepy dead girl who works for Hades?" I raised my eyebrows, "Why?"

Luke chuckled and kissed me again.

"Because you're special," he whispered in my ear.

"You're crazy," I countered.

"Maybe I am," He grinned, "But if this is crazy then I won't miss sanity,"

"I will," I countered, "The Aphrodite cabin's going to kill me,"

"And Risk the Hades cabin sending an army of zombies at them?" Luke grinned, "I think not. Besides; what fun is life without a few risks?"

I chuckled and shook my head, "You're mad,"

"Luke and Cora, sitting in a tree –"

Before Nico got the chance to finish the little ditty I tackled him.

"Not a word about this to anyone," I warned him, "Or I'll tell them about you and –"

"No!" Nico pleaded, "I won't tell, I promise,"

I hauled him up and ruffled his hair, "Good boy," I told him.

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G," Nico muttered with a grin.

I rolled my eyes and proceeded to chase him all the way back to the bonfire, Luke following close behind with a grin on his face.

…

**Forgive the fluff; I'm no good at that :)**

**Anyhow; another awful chapter by me! Hopefully the next one will be better XD**

**I have several fics on the go and not enough time to write them, but I'm doing my best! :D**

**Bear with me and review! Reviews make me happy! :)**


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